There is a song that I simply love playing during my gentle yoga class. It’s by Sidsel Endresen & Bugge Wesseltoft, Try, and the beginning of the song goes like this:
Keep on looking
you keep on searching
keep on moving
and you get a little further
keep on trusting
you keep on hoping
keep on facing your fears, just to keep on growing
just try….try…just try
There’s something about her simple, sultry, then shaky almost unsteady at times timbre of her voice that evokes vulnerability, uncertainty, then, a streak of comfort. As I listen to the lyrics of this song, I’m reminded that within this “trying”, I am slaying doubt dragons, my own narrative of fears, the voice of my mother’s insecurities and everything anything else that finds its way into this head and heart of mine. When I just “try” I’m no longer forcing something to happen. It’s almost like a sweet surrender. A release. The moment between wrestling with the fear of why ____________ (fill in the blank) didn’t/couldn’t/won’t/can’t happen, and “just trying” is the space where things happen. I’m neither grasping or pushing away. I’m present with whatever is happening, right here, in this moment. But life hasn’t always felt that way. Building my own mindfulness practices and self-care routine continues to evolve and grow.
More to come as this story continues. . .